A Different Kind of Plague

וַיֵּצֵא בַּיּוֹם הַשֵּׁנִי וְהִנֵּה שְׁנֵי אֲנָשִׁים עִבְרִים נִצִּים. וַיֹּאמֶר לָרָשָׁע, "לָמָּה תַכֶּה רֵעֶךָ??"  -שמות ב:יג 

And [Moshe] went about on the second day and, behold, to men were fighting. And he said to the wicked one, "Why do you hit your fellow??" -Exodus 2:13

Tonight, as we commemorate the suffering of our ancestors at the hands of the Egyptians, let us take a moment to remember the makos (blows) being borne to this day by our boys at the hands of (certain) rebbeim in (certain) yeshivos and chadorim. May G-d hear their cries this year as he heard the cries of their fathers long ago.  


Postscript: I understand that this is a sugya that needs to be addressed from a responsible halachic perspective. Be"H, over Pesach I will have more time to write that part up with the thoroughness is deserves. -PsyJew

Going GaGa for Shaya & Perry

Are you from Shaya’s side or Perry’s side?

Neither one? Don’t worry; most of the people who have “attended” this wedding still couldn’t pick the bride or groom out of a crowd. But one thing’s for sure: we can all sing their names.

For those who have not used the Internet or email in the past week, Shaya and Perry are the Hassidic couple whose wedding entrance, captured on video (embedded below), has become an overnight viral sensation across the online Jewish world. The video, and the remarkable reaction to it, offers a fascinating window on the Jewish community and the way that technology and culture interact within it to shape and be shaped by one another.

The clip, featuring a Hassidic wedding band playing what the poster entitles “L.G. Fanfare” was uploaded to YouTube on March 17^th and quickly spread through blogs, email and Facebook posts. In the little over a week that it’s been online — while the infamous chosson and kallah (bride and groom) had barely made it past sheva brachos (the seven days of ritual celebration following a traditional Jewish wedding) — the video has been seen nearly 40,000 times, making Shaya and Perry, arguably, the Hassidic answer to Jill and Kevin and the Thriller folks.

If you're not among those 40,000, here's the object of all the fuss:

Watch Out Folks, It's Pesach Time Again!

Kashering burns, cooking cuts, wheat allergies, and unattended children falling down wet stairs... It's a good thing seder night is leil shimurim, a night of protection. Still, according to a 2008 NY Post article, Pesach accidents manage to fill the emergency rooms every year.
Check out YWN for some helpful safety tips.

B'nei Brak Posek: Report Abuse Accusations Immediately, Force Payment for Therapy

R' Daniel Idensohn, on his "Daas Torah" blog, posts a teshuva (responsum) from B'nei Brak posek Rav Yehuda Silman from the current issue of the Yeshurun Torah journal. In it R' Silman paskens (later in the article, after the page posted) that abusers can be forced, according to halacha to pay for their damage in the form of covering sexual abuse victims' therapy costs. (Here's his translation.)


In addition, Rav Silman makes a fundamental point (on pictured page, third paragraph from bottom, "...וי“א להיפוך") that, given the way many of our communities currently handle such cases, is quite radical. In deciding whether to report an allegation of abuse to the secular authorities, not only does on need to consult a beis din (halachic rabbinical court)—or even obtain a psak halacha from a rav—but it is actually more advisable to not become delayed by those steps! Rather, one should go straight to the authorities who have the legal auspices and practical capacities to address the issue in a way that rabbonim and talmidei chachomim do not.

All Learning, No Play: Calls to Restrain Bochurim on Break

Israeli roshei yeshiva this year are are taking literally the Torah's charge of "shmor es chodesh ha'aviv" (literally, "Protect the spring month"). "Dei'ah Vedibur" (a website that bills itself as "a window into the Chareidi world") reports that these educators are urging parents to safeguard their children from the myriad spiritual dangers of bein hazmanim (lit. "between terms," in this case referring to the Pesach break that for many yeshivos spans the full month of Nisan). Those dangers include the usual suspects—Haredi internet sites and unblocked cellphones—but also include unsupervised trips to the North of Israel. 


The roshei yeshiva's stance apparently follows a notice distributed in the name of two preeminent gedolim from Yerushalayim and Bnei Brak, HaRav Yosef Sholom Eliashiv and HaRav Aharon Leib Shteinman. The notice, signed by those rabbis, is entitled "Amoleinu: Eilu HaBonim," a quote from the Haggadah (and Midrash) referring the the ancient Egyptians' practice of drowning newborn Jewish boys. This type of notice is a common medium for influencing public opinion in the Israeli Haredi community, which has traditionally shunned other forms of media. However, while the roshei yeshiva are treating the present announcement as genuinely from those gedolim, it is often difficult to verify the authenticity of the signatures on such notices.


Regarding trips, the notice exhorts:

Parents must be alert to the dangers and exhibit foresight and stand guard, not allowing their sons to set out on trips. If there is a real necessity they should take part in organized trips with proper supervision to prevent spiritual and physical dangers.

This position is nothing new. Haredi and Chassidish yeshivos and communities—both in Israel and the United States—have steadily stripped away boys' opportunities for exercise, play and other non-learning outlets, leaving them with scarce opportunities for stress relief or relaxation. This leaves boys, especially older ones, out of shape, overwhelmed by the demands of a long yeshiva day, and, in many cases, looking for alternative releases. In fact, even the learning itself suffers when students don't have enough recess and exercise. This announcement only tightens those restrictions, extending them to bein hazmanim, and even to trips that are not "real necessit[ies]." 


Maybe one day the roshei yeshiva will recognize the need to address the whole student, with all of his or her needs and development. Until then, however, Israeli yeshiva bochurim will have to rethink the meaning of "Zman Cheiruseinu."

Quake Reveals Collapsing Mental Health System

At the very time when Haitians need it most, aid workers and foreign doctors are discovering just how terribly ill-equipped the mental health system is in their country. This New York Times article describes scenes of filth, overcrowding, and squalor reminiscent of insane asylums from centuries ago.

R' Chaim Kanievsky to Yeshiva Bochurim: "Who Do You Think You Are?!"

(Yeshiva World News) HaRav Chaim Kanievsky, a foremost leader of the Israeli Charedi community and among the few true, league-of-thier-own gedolei Torah, spoke out recently against the phenomenon of yeshiva bochurim making exorbitant demands of potential in-laws. The rav told a gathering of roshei yeshiva that the trend of boys demanding–often of families who can not afford them–apartments is an "epidemic" that has "crossed acceptable boundaries" and must be fought. "When we were young," R' Chaim said, "we received sheds to live in, and only rentals at that... Today, every bachur who learns four or five years believes he has attained a level of worth higher than his father-in-law and therefore, he is entitled to an apartment." So seriously does he take this issue that, he exclaimed, "a fast day must be declared to stop" it.

Brain Awareness Week: Musing on Memory & Forgetting

From a fascinating episode of the radio show Radiolab:

According to the latest research, remembering is an unstable and profoundly unreliable process. It’s easy come, easy go as we learn how true memories can be obliterated and false ones added. And Oliver Sacks joins us to tell the story of an amnesiac whose love for his wife and music transcend his 7 second memory.

The show contains 3 short segments, each posted separately, and described on the page in further detail:

1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Rat- about the physical aspect of recorded memories and one neuroscientist who erases memory from rats
2. Adding Memory- about implanting memories and finding lost memories
3. Clive- neurologist Oliver Sacks on the "most severe case of amnesia ever documented"

Minnesota Special Needs Yeshiva Fights to Stay Open

MYeshiva, a high school outside the twin cities offers a supportive environment for students who, "are stuck in the middle" but haven't given up.  For the first time since it opened in 2006, the school does not have one parent who is able to pay full tuition. Behind on its mortgage, MYeshiva must come up with $500,000 in the next two months in order to not be forced out.

Brain Awareness Week: The Brain from Top to Bottom

This interactive site, from the Canadian Institutes of Health Research, Institute of Neurosciences, Mental Health and Addiction, offers in-depth information about brain-related issues such as the senses, memory, pleasure and pain, thought and language, and mental disorders. The colored tabs on the bottom, right allow the user to adjust the level between "beginner," "intermediate," and "advanced." 

Hitler in a Onesie?

Haaretz. Anne Geddes she's not... 
After giving birth to her second child, Faustina, Danish-Norwegian artist Nina Maria Kleivan suffered severe pelvic joint pain that confined her to a hospital bed, and later to a wheelchair, for six months. It was then that Ms. Kleivan got the inspiration to perform a bizarre act of passive aggression that would put even Jewish mothers to shame: dress her infant girl like the most evil men of the 20th century, take pictures, and travel around the world showing them off to bewildered gallery visitors. (And you thought that shot of you with spaghetti on your head was embarrassing!)


Kleivan acknowledges that her aunt, who lost most of her family in the German camps, "was sickened by" the exhibit, especially the picture of baby Hitler. However, she stresses that "even though comical, you're not supposed to only laugh at these pictures." Rather, she hopes viewers will consider that, "Even my daughter could end up ruling Denmark with an iron fist. The possibility is still there. You never know." 


An expert in psychopathy who wrote a text to accompany the exhibit sent Kleivan a letter afterward reporting his discussions with colleagues about whether or not little Faustina would suffer long-term psychiatric damage from the experience. They decided that she would not (though he did "recommend [she] save [the] letter"). It's a good thing, too. Because if the girl did, in fact, grow up to be a psychopath who "ruled Denmark with an iron fist," I'd hate for Ms. Kleivan to always wonder if it was her little dress-up games that pushed the girl over the edge!

Taking the Rabbis to Church: Learning a Lesson on Dealing with Abuse

WE MIGHT HOPE to be be frummer than the Pope, but we're certainly not infallible. And we might even stand to learn a thing or two from the European Catholic Church when it comes to soul searching.


As reports of sexual abuse by catholic clergy continue to sweep through Europe, so do the searches for answers. What is remarkable about these inquiries is their boldness—how deep they are willing to look for the causes of the abuses and how high up they are willing to look for who is responsible. 


A German investigation that has come increasingly close to the pope has resulted in a senior church official’s acknowledgment that an archdiocese there, while the pope was its archbishop, made “serious mistakes” in handling an abuse case. In Austria, two leading archbishops’ calls for an “unflinching examination” of the roots of the problem of priests abusing children have brought them to question the very institution of priest celibacy and the issue of celibate priests’ “personality development.” As the Archbishop of Vienna, Christoph Schönborn stressed in a recent article, it is time to acknowledge that this examination “requires a great deal of honesty, both on the part of the church and of society as a whole.”
 
COMPARE THAT response to the one offered by the Orthodox leadership, and it begins to seem like some confession might be in order. 


It has been nearly four months since Agudah's Chaim Dovid Zwiebel acknowledged to the press and before a packed convention hall that the way that sexual abuse is dealt with in the Charedi (so-called "Ultra-Orthodox") community must change. During that time, the lack of substantive action toward that end has all but confirmed what advocates had warned at the time: that those words were just that and nothing more.  


As Survivors for Justice's Ben Hirsch points out, even the government seems to be more concerned about abuse in our community than our own leaders. Even as Governor Patterson approved $500,000 for Orthodox abuse victims, our rabbonim have remained silent. 



IN AN AGE when our leaders are being bullied and mislead, standing up to a defensive and complacent public is a difficult task, especially when it pertains to such an ugly truth. But, those in the community who recognize the seriousness of this issue must demand more of our leaders, both our "sarei mei'ot," our shul rabbis and menahalim, and our "sarei alaphim," the gedolim and prominent leaders. 

Parents must ask their principals why they haven't adopted the Torah U'Mesorah guidelines for dealing with reports of abuse in schools. (Unless, you happen to be dealing with the ONE school that has actually adopted them. Of course, these guidelines are only a small start, but they are something!) Congregants must ask their rabbonim what their protocols are for reporting abuse to the police and for supporting those who come forth and their families. If they have none, then why not? 

We do not have to resort to angry finger-pointing. But we do, as individuals and as a community, have to make ourselves heard. We cannot continue throwing our hands up and hiding behind the gravity of the issue. Until the community and its leaders establish and uphold viable policies for dealing with the abuse in our midst, we will be left with a vacuum that will only continue to foster denial, secrecy, and the invalidation of reporters and victims.

IN HIS OPENING REMARKS at the Agudah convention, R' Zweibel quoted Rav Elya Svei as saying of our times, "The problems are becoming greater and greater, and the [number of] people to deal with the problems are becoming smaller and smaller." That might be true, but it can no longer be an excuse. It's time to confess that our community's handling of sexual abuse has been flawed and must be changed. Each of us, leaders and laymen alike, have to step up the efforts toward a safe and supported community. For the problems may be great now, but I shudder to think what they will become the day that we stop trying to fight them.

G-d to Brain: "You Don't Know Me"

A Canadian neuroscientist will address hundreds of theologians  at the University of Marburg, in Germany next week and tell them something they, hopefully, already know: the human brain cannot understand the existence of G-d. 


This, of course, says nothing about whether G-d, in fact, exists. To say that the mortal brain that (let's assume) G-d, Himself, created can be the ultimate arbiter of such a, literally, mind-boggling question would be chutzpah of the highest order. Indeed, this is one of the basics of Jewish theology (See also Rambam, Yesodei Hatorah 1:2; Ramchal, Derech HaShem 1:1). As summed up by "the sage" in R' Yosef Albo's Sefer HaIkarim (Book of the Foundations): "If I would know Him I would be Him." 

Being Mindful of the Brain

The brain is a monstrous, beautiful mess. Its billions of nerve cells - called neurons - lie in a tangled web that displays cognitive powers far exceeding any of the silicon machines we have built to mimic it. -William F. Allman, Apprentices of Wonder. Inside the Neural Network Revolution

Shaped a little like a loaf of French country bread, our brain is a crowded chemistry lab, bustling with nonstop neural conversations.
Imagine the brain, that shiny mound of being, that mouse-gray parliament of cells, that dream factory, that petit tyrant inside a ball of bone, that huddle of neurons calling all the plays, that little everywhere, that fickle pleasuredome, that wrinkled wardrobe of selves stuffed into the skull like too many clothes into a gym bag. -Diane Ackerman, An Alchemy of Mind: The Marvel and Mystery of the Brain

A NUMBER OF YEARS AGO I had the interesting experience of teaching a class on Shaar HaBechina (Gate of Investigation) of the Chovos HaLevavos (Duties of the Heart) while taking a course in neuroanatomy. That section of the famous mussar, or ethical, work deals with a person's imperative of recognizing and examining the wonders of the world around him or her in order to build faith in and appreciation for G-d.


I had always been a sucker for a beautiful sunset or an awesome mountain view, but hard science had always seemed to me kind of dry. This time, though, I was amazed. Here was, essentially, a little mound of goo with chemicals and electricity running through it, but with such intricacy and efficiency that it was basically running the show. (Obviously, I speak of the physical components of the human being that by G-d's design are the only aspects of our existence that are subject to scientific inquiry.) The deeper I looked, the more astounded I became. For even the smallest function to work as it should, countless other processes have to work in total concert with it. Together, these purely physical networks are capable of processing sensation, imagining, thinking, stimulating emotion, and even (within limits) understanding the Divine. At one point that semester, I even pounced upon a poor neurosurgeon that I met at a Shabbos meal and pumped him with eager questions for over an hour, in an effort to grab a little of the wonder that he, no doubt encountered in his work. 


WHY THE AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL CHATTER, you ask? Because today marks the start of Brain Awareness Week, a project of the Dana Foundation, a brain research organization, and the Society for Neuroscience to raise awareness of advances in brain research. Not a bad excuse for engaging in a bit of "mib'sari echezeh E-lokah," "from my own flesh I will witness the Divine." To that end, I will be posting over the course of this week some links that make the workings and development of the brain come alive in an accessible and interesting way.


To start, I offer this 3D tour of the brain from the companion site for PBS's The Secret Life of the Brain series (requires Adobe Shockwave plugin).
Also check out their episode pages, such as this one, which shows you life from the perspective of a baby's brain. 
 

Sentence for Abuser, Censure for His Supporters

YNet-  Judges criticize defense witnesses including rabbis for praising haredi man who was extradited from Britain to face accusations of sexual offenses.

Psychotic, Or Just a Killer?

"Jewish Terrorist" Jack Teitel undergoes psychiatric observation  to determine whether he is in fact, as his lawyer claims, psychotic.

The Play's the Thing

Using improvisational theater to build confidence, communication, and adaptive skills to developmentally disabled adults at Ohel Bais Ezra dayhab.

Reducing Parental Depression's Impact on Children

Parental depression increases children's risk for emotional, social, and cognitive difficulties. But, as the L.A. Times reports, new research indicates that parents can significantly reduce those effects by providing children with plenty of attention, helping children develop positive coping skills and a sense of self-efficacy, and teaching them not to blame themselves for the parents' depression.

Eyeing Vision Therapy

In many Heimishe communities, vision therapy has become the treatment of choice for childhood conditions from learning and kriyah to inattention and anxiety. Yet, a close "look" at the science behind this therapy leaves the impression that it's not always so "eye-eye-eye."

The upcoming issue of the New York Times Magazine features an article that is sure to arouse some controversy, dealing with the validity of vision therapy for childhood learning and behavioral disorders. The piece is written by Judith Warner, author of the recently released "We've Got Issues: Children and Parents in the Age of Medication," a straight-talking reevaluation of the oft-toted notion that today's children are wildly overmedicated.

 In short, “behavioral optometrists” and the American Optometric Association claim that 25% of all children have achievement-limiting vision problems, including most children identified as “problem learners,” and that vision therapy is the answer to a range of issues from learning and concentration to motivation and frustration tolerance.

Meanwhile, there is no scientific data that indicates that this treatment is effective. (One single randomized, placebo-based study by NIH’s Query the National Eye Institute found evidence of efficacy, but only for the specific disorder of convergence insufficiency).


Why, then do parents continue to buy in to this therapy? Here is my take on her suggestions, as applied to the frum community. Parents' choosing vision therapy is, in effect, their way of choosing how to understand and frame their child's condition. Going with vision therapy allows parents to straddle the fence between the clear-cut, blame-free medical perspective and the harder-to-swallow psychopathology perspective.

Many professionals who treat members of the frum communities find that there are two major mindsets regarding treatment preferences. Some are loathe to use psychotherapy, yet are perfectly fine with a “big doctor” giving them medicine for the same issue. Others are fine receiving eitzos from a professional, but would never consider letting themselves or their children be medicated. (These, of course, exist in all communities, but the resistance can be more pronounced in some than in others.) Vision therapy has an advantage over both psychosocial and psychiatric treatments, as it is generally not invasive of the body or the psyche.

In the Chassidishe communities, there is an additional factor relating to the fact that most of the instruction and reading is in Yiddish. Most, if not all, of the research-based, normed instruments for assessing reading and learning are simply unavailable in Yiddish, meaning that even trained professionals have difficulty pinpointing the precise source of difficulty with ivrah, or kriyah and learning. To my knowledge, there are few trained reading specialists who specialize in Yiddish, and even the number of instructors trained in reading remediation and multisensory instruction is relatively small. For parents who know their child is struggling, but have found few clear explanations why, hearing a behavioral optometrist state definitively that vision therapy is the answer is naturally compelling.

Vision therapy is also non-stigmatizing. Saying to a child, in effect, “It’s not you, it’s your eyes” has the benefit of not forcing parents to address the behavioral, social-emotional or intra-psychic issues that often elicit the fear of stigma and can, at first, leave parents feeling blamed. It also implies that, ultimately, there is nothing really wrong with the child. Whatever behavioral or achievement deficits he or she displays reflect nothing but that the child has yet to receive enough vision therapy. That sounds a lot better to potential mechutanim.

To be sure, there is no indication that vision therapy can harm a child. Parents with the resources to add it to the therapeutic mix will probably be none the worse for the experience. However, when it takes the place of other, proven ways of addressing the issue, jumping to vision therapy can detrimental. As the American Pediatric Association, the American Academy of Ophthalmology, and other medical organizations warned last summer in a joint statement  after reviewing 35 years' worth of literature on the topic:

Ineffective, controversial methods of treatment such as vision therapy may give parents and teachers a false sense of security that a child’s learning difficulties are being addressed, may waste family and/or school resources and may delay proper instruction or remediation.

A Plea for Moderation in Yiddishkeit

Fine essay by Rabbi Yaakov Horowitz, originally published in the Jewish Press, responding to the now-famous computer stomping video. 

The radical views like those espoused by [the computer-smashing Rosh Yeshiva] and illustrated by his actions are stomping on far more than a single laptop. Such views threaten to trample the future - and Yiddishkeit - of the families who follow them.

Extremism might turn out a few kanna'im, but it will turn off many more kids and adolescents.

New Research Looks At Beliefs About God's Influence In Everyday Life

Interesting finding reported in the March issue of the journal Sociology of Religion: being wealthy and well-educated does negatively influence a person's belief in divine intervention. However that is only true for individuals who are not strongly committed to religious practice. Among the strongly committed, wealth does not tend to detract from faith.

Must Narnia be Jewish?

Herschel Potter? If the notion sounds strange to you, you're not alone. In the inaugural issue of the Jewish Review of Books, Michael Weingrad's essay on Jewish fantasy novels asks the question, "Why is there no Jewish Narnia?" The question is an interesting one, and has certainly provoked its share of blogger buzz. A better question, though, might be, "Why should there be a Jewish Narnia?" Or, more precisely, does Narnia have something to offer Judaism, just the way it is?


Of course, good old Jewish pride gets tickled by the accomplishments—literary, or otherwise—of a fellow Member of the Tribe, and novel set in a  Jewish-themed context might be as satisfying as watching a movie set in one's home town. Yet Weingrad is not interested simply in a "Kosher-style" fantasy. His "deeper... question" is:

Why are there no works of modern fantasy that are profoundly Jewish in the way that, say, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe is Christian? Why no Jewish Lewises, and why no Jewish Narnias?

His ultimate conclusion seems to be, as New York Times' Ross Douthat observes, "that modern fantasy depends on Christianity, or at least a Christian-pagan synthesis of some kind, for its forms, conventions, and traditions." Wiengrad resigns to the notion that "the genre [of fantasy] will remain irreducably Christian, and a truly Judaic fantasy would have to belong to, or invent, a different genre altogether." 


Let's assume that he is correct, that Judaism has nothing to offer fantasy. Must that mean, however, that fantasy has nothing to offer Judaism? I don't think so. 


Wiengrad thoughtfully describes the function of fantasy literature. He sums up one of the key components of fantasy:

The experience of wonder, of joy and delight on the part of the reader, has long been recognized as one of the defining characteristics of the genre. This wonder is connected with a world, with a place of magic, strangeness, danger, and charm; and whether it is called Perelandra, Earthsea, Amber, or Oz, this world must be a truly alien place. As Ursula K. Leguin says: “The point about Elfland is that you are not at home there. It’s not Poughkeepsie.”

Good fantasy opens readers' imaginations to the possibility that there might be more out there than what we encounter in our mundane lives and witness with our own surface vision.


However, when he reflects back on the place (or lack thereof) of that function in Judaism, Wiengrad is less on target. He asserts:

The Jewish difficulty with fantasy... has to do with the degree to which Judaism has banished the magical and mythological elements necessary for fantasy.To put it crudely, if Christianity is a fantasy religion, then Judaism is a science fiction religion. If the former is individualistic, magical, and salvationist, the latter is collective, technical, and this-worldly. Judaism’s divine drama is connected with a specific people in a specific place within a specific history. Its halakhic core is not, I think, convincingly represented in fantasy allegory. In its rabbinic elaboration, even the messianic idea is shorn of its mythic and apocalyptic potential. Whereas fantasy grows naturally out of Christian soil, Judaism’s more adamant separation from myth and magic render classic elements of the fantasy genre undeveloped or suspect in the Jewish imaginative tradition. 

In reality, though, the themes of the supernatural and salvation are central to both Judaism's historical-theological core and its phenomenological expectation for its practitioners. "Judaism’s divine drama" is indeed "connected with a specific people in a specific place within a specific history." However, that hardly diminished its power for the Jewish reader who is him- or  herself a member of that people. Moreover, the very function of that historical narrative is to ground the experience of future Jewish generations in the supernatural foundations of that nation (c.f. Nachmanides, Shemot 13:16). It was in that context that the first halakhic mandates were handed down at Sinai, and it is that very awareness that adherence to halakha is intended to foster.


The daily experience of the spiritual, observant Jew is, ideally, one in which the ordinary material world around him is infused with meaning and with sanctity that extends directly from the Divine narrative of his people. Too often, however, we come to experience Judaism—and pass it on to our children—as purely "collective, technical, and this-worldly," in a way that strips the essential pnimius, inner spirit, from the process. 


Fantasy's place in Jewish spiritual development is to nurture in readers—child and adult alike—the capacity for spiritual imagination and wonder. By "spiritual imagination" I mean the capacity to conceive of and recognize the existence of a Being outside of the realm of the immediate, physical world. When one actually encounters that Other, or a this-worldly phenomenon that suggests that Other's presence, one experiences wonder. Like a small child whose world is filled with wondrous discovery and magical possibility, a truly spiritual person experiences the wonder of the Divine all around him. To experience a sunset or a rainbow as "the Heavens recount[ing] the Glory of G-d" is all but impossible without the dual faculties of imagination and wonder.


Of course, reading literature based on Christian themes might pose halakhic questions that are beyond the present purview. But, especially in today's post-Potter era, there are plenty of works of "pure fantasy" that can serve the same aim. 


One who seeks to develop within himself and his children the gift of sincere, deep ruchnius, spirituality—one that inspires wholehearted devotion to Torah and mitzvos and a genuine awareness of the presence of G-d—must  address the emotional and cognitive proficiencies that underly it. Reading Harry Potter is hardly an unpleasant way to do so.

Survival through Humor

In honor of Adar, an article about how humor can get a person through even the most difficult situations. 

"Holocaust survivor Emil Fackenheim said, 'We kept our morale through humor,' and many other survivors of the Holocaust, POW camps, torture and abuse have shared his sentiment. The stories of these survivors and findings of modern medical research support the notion that humor is an extremely effective tool for managing our advanced awareness and for creating new perspectives to cope with otherwise unbearable environments or circumstances."

The Real Story of Purim

by Rabbi R. Y. Eisenman (Reprinted from his daily "Short Vort" e-mail)

My son was asking a riddle on Purim. The riddle, which of course was being told in jest, went as follows: Why did Haman want to kill all the Jews if it was only Mordechai who was guilty of not standing in the presence of Haman? The answer my son offered in jest was: Haman was not in the mood to receive 49,000 emails from Jews all over the world. It was therefore simpler to just kill all the Jews.

The reference which the riddle covertly refers to is of course the unfortunate episode of the execution of Mr. Martin Grossman which occurred the week before Purim and the attempt of Jewish leaders to rally 50,000 people to email the governor for a pardon. If you find the riddle humorous or not is not my concern; if you involved yourself in the campaign on behalf of Mr. Grossman is also not germane to this Short Vort. However, what is important is my son’s question.

Indeed, why did Haman want to kill all the Jews? After all, it was only Mordechai who was insubordinate to him? What was the reason Haman had to kill all the Jews? I could not get the question out of my mind the entire Purim and Shushan Purim. I was aware and recognized that Chazal felt that this was indicative of the anti-Semitic attitude of Amalek and is a manifestation of the concept “Eisav Sonei Yakov”- Eisav hates Yakov (the Jewish people). However, on a simple text level, why did Haman want to kill all the Jews? Indeed, from the Megillah it seems clear that Mordechai was an individual with little if any popular support. The verse states: "All the royal officials at the king's gate knelt down and paid honor to Haman, for the king had commanded this concerning him. But Mordecai would not kneel down or pay him honor." (3:2) It seems clear that only Mordechai was not being compliant to Haman; why the need to kill all the Jews?

Let us take a step back and ask and even more basic question. What did Haman care so much that Mordechai refused to bow and kneel down to him? Obviously the simple answer is that Haman feared that Mordechai’s insubordination could spread and ultimately undermine his power. However, if so, the question returns, why didn’t Haman just kill off Mordechai? If he was able to convince the king to obliterate an entire nation, he certainly should not have had much resistance on the part of Achashveirus to kill off one Jew; especially one who is so flagrantly disobeying the prime minister’s decrees! 

Indeed, the decree had the backing of the king himself as the verse states:

"All the royal officials at the king's gate knelt down and paid honor to Haman, for the king had commanded this concerning him. But Mordecai would not kneel down or pay him honor." (3:2) If so the question becomes stronger and stronger: Why did Haman want, or need to kill off all the Jews? Why not kill Mordechai himself and all would be fine? The other Jews were not bothering Haman. Indeed, they were subservient and docile, why mix them in? 

Inside the Mind of Haman

The answer is the following. Haman mixed in all the Jews to his hatred of Mordechai was not because Mordechai was an excuse to kill his real enemies; namely, all the Jews. No, quite the opposite; the reason Haman mixed in all the Jews was to cover up his real and only enemy, Mordechai. Meaning, Haman’s accusations against all the Jews were simply a smoke screen to get at his real and only enemy- Mordechai.

"Please run that by me again."

Here we go.

Haman was using the Jewish people as a veil to conceal his true intent, namely to destroy and kill Mordechai; not the other way around.

I don’t get it. If Haman only wanted to destroy Mordecai, why not kill him right away?

Why did Haman use the ruse of:

"There is a certain people dispersed and scattered among the peoples in all the provinces of your kingdom whose customs are different from those of all other people and who do not obey the king's laws; it is not in the king's best interest to tolerate them. If it pleases the king, let a decree be issued to destroy them, and I will put ten thousand talents of silver into the royal treasury for the men who carry out this business."?

If his real intent was just to kill Mordechai, why not tell the king to kill Mordechai right away? The answer is because Haman could not do that. The king would not have agreed.

Why not? Let’s go back in time.

Haman and Mordechai were once both officers in the army of Achashveirus. Achashveirus had distributed money for the officers. Haman- being a person who always needed immediate gratification- spent his money on his carnal needs right away. Later in the campaign when Haman was broke and needed bread, he came begging to Mordechai for his basic needs: bread and water. Mordechai, who conserved and saved his provisions, would only agree to supply Haman with his needs if Haman would agree to enslave himself to Mordechai. Haman agreed and even signed a document testifying to the sale. (Yalkut Shemoni; Esther; Remez 1,056)

Therefore, Mordechai was not being haughty or hubris-like by not bowing to Haman. After all, as the Talmud teachers, ‘whatever a slave acquires, his master acquires’ (Pesachim 88b). Mordechai was legally correct in not bowing to Haman. Therefore Haman could never just ask Achashveirus to kill Mordechai (although eventually his irrational hatred would finally convince him to do just that- to his own demise). If Haman would ask Achashveirus just to kill Mordechai, the king would ask why. Even a superficial investigation would reveal the deep dark secret of Haman; and Haman not Mordechai would be humiliated. 

As does any abuser of power and of people, Haman had to divert attention from himself by discrediting his intended victim and his victim’s family! By discrediting the entire Jewish people, Haman would be successfully diverting attention from himself, while simultaneously showing how Mordechai is a product of an entirely dysfunctional family unit that has to be destroyed.This is why he claims: "There is a certain people dispersed and scattered among the peoples in all the provinces of your kingdom whose customs are different from those of all other people”; in other words, they are one big dysfunctional family unit!

Haman is the ultimate abuser. It makes no difference if the abuser is a pedophile, a wife beater, a controlling spouse or parent; the modus operandi is always identical. The abuser realizes that the victim knows a secret evil which the abuser has committed. In the case of Haman, he knew that Mordechai was aware of his sordid past as one who had squandered the king’s wages and that as he was not a respectable prime minister; but rather a despicable and lowly servant of Mordechai.

In a case of pedophilia, only the child knows that the ostensibly respected authority figure is in truth a lowly and basely beastly worthless low life; notwithstanding the abusers standing in the professional world. In the case of spousal or child abuse, it is the spouse or child who knows the secret evil which the ‘respected’ spouse and or parent are perpetuating in the privacy of the home.

However, one thing is always the same as it was with Haman. Just as Haman realized that in order to buttress his attack on Mordechai, he had to distract attention from his crimes through intimidation by discrediting his victim and the victim’s family by declaring the supposed dysfunctionality of the entire Jewish people, so does today’s pedophile attempt to distract attention from himself by claiming that the victim and/or their family are dysfunctional, strange and that they are the real criminals. Although Mordechai and the entire Jewish people were always loyal citizens to the crown, this did not deter Haman from claiming that Mordechai and indeed the entire Jewish people are ‘different’ from everyone else.

So too, the abuser will always attempt to discredit the victim and their family. By discrediting the victim’s family he hopes to silence his true enemy, the victim. I can recall in dealing with various cases of abuse, how the abuser would attempt to discredit the victim’s family by claiming exaggerated and outright false accusations against the victim and their entire family. This is nothing less then the evil legacy of Haman. The case against the Jewish people was nothing more than the modern day’s abuser attempt to create a smoke screen which simultaneously attempts to deflect attention from the abuser and their hideous deeds and discredit the victim by defaming the family of the victim.

However, ultimately, Haman is undone by himself. Ultimately, Haman cannot even wait until Adar when- by order of the king- he and everyone will be allowed to kill the Jews. After Haman sees Mordechai once more he is filled with rage and anger. Let’s see the episode inside the Megillah:

"Haman went out that day happy and in high spirits. But when he saw Mordecai at the king's gate and observed that he neither rose nor showed fear in his presence, he was filled with rage against Mordecai. Nevertheless, Haman restrained himself and went home. Calling together his friends and Zeresh, his wife, Haman boasted to them about his vast wealth, his many sons, and all the ways the king had honored him and how he had elevated him above the other nobles and officials. "And that's not all," Haman added. "I'm the only person Queen Esther invited to accompany the king to the banquet she gave. And she has invited me along with the king tomorrow. But all this gives me no satisfaction as long as I see that Jew Mordecai sitting at the king's gate. His wife Zeresh and all his friends said to him, "Have a gallows built, seventy-five feet high, and ask the king in the morning to have Mordecai hanged on it. Then go with the king to the dinner and be happy." This suggestion delighted Haman, and he had the gallows built. (Chapter five)

Haman states: “But all this gives me no satisfaction as long as I see that Jew Mordecai sitting at the king's gate.” Why is that? Why is it that “all this gives me no satisfaction as long as I see that Jew Mordechai sitting at the king’s gate”? This is strange; after all, Mordechai would have been wiped out based on the king’s decree that all Jews will be killed by Adar. Why couldn’t Haman let matters take their natural course and wait until the following Adar when Mordechai will be killed along with the other Jews? The answer is found in the words: “as long as I see that Jew Mordechai sitting at the king’s gate”.

As long as Mordechai was seen by Haman, Haman could no longer contain himself for even one more day. Why not? Mordechai represents the deep dark secret of Haman. Mordechai who represents the ‘victim’ is the only person on the face of the Earth who knows about Haman’s murky past. He is the only one who stands in the way of his further climb on the ladder of power and fame. As long as Mordechai is alive and well, Haman the abuser is never safe. He cannot claim he is great, wonderful and honorable without being contested. As long as that one person is still alive and well, Haman’s plans for grandeur could be stifled at any minute. Mordechai must be silenced and must be silenced today!

Although Haman had hoped by discrediting and destroying the entire Jewish people, Mordechai would also be destroyed; he could not wait the eleven months, his evil mind would not let him rest. This is the typical of the pedophile and of the abuser. When attempts at distracting attention from the crime by discrediting the family are not sufficient, the abuser becomes a caged animal who will stop at nothing to destroy his prey. 

However, these efforts at destroying Mordechai were ultimately what led to the downfall of Haman; as on the exact tree which he prepared for Mordechai he was hung. So too as well, last ditch attempts by abusers to destroy the credibility of the victims will be their undoing. I recall the historic event we had at the Shul on Erev Yom Kippur when brave victims of abuse stood up and declared unabashedly: "'Who is he? Where is the man who has dared to do such a thing?' And Esther said, 'The adversary and enemy is this vile Haman.'"(7:5, 6)  

After the event there were those who attempted to protect the abusers. They called me and ‘reported’ to me how this victim is ‘unstable’ and that victim is ‘not normal’. However, as time has gone on, it has become clearer and clearer that everyone was indeed telling the truth and it was those who deny that such things are going on who were wrong. These last ditch attempt by the abuser or by his cohorts to destroy the victim will ultimately be their own demise as it was with Haman.

At the end of the day, truth and tzedek, justice, will reign.

Just as the Megillah ends on a happy note with Haman’s demise and Mordechai’s elevation, so too we daven that all abusers will be eliminated from our midst and the true victims will one day receive the recognition they truly deserve.